I didn’t get a phone until I was 27. I’m a late bloomer, tech-wise. I mean it’s slightly ironic given I’m now completely addicted to Instagram and am a web editor by trade, but the fact remains: my smartphone skills are still in their first five-year infancy.
My only regret is I never got to do a really satisfying hang up on someone, flip phone-stylee
The other thing you should know about me is I BLOODY LOVE A WEDDING. I get excited catching a hint of whisper of a suggestion of a glimpse of a veil if I’m going past a church on a bus, let alone witnessing people I actually know and love get all spruced up and choke over their ‘I do’s and cut a cake with a giant menacing knife and do a little awkward dance in a cheering circle.
It was my friend Amanda’s turn a couple of weeks ago. She was marrying a lovely chap (hi Ben if you ever see this!) who EVERY TIME I’ve met him has been wearing some kind of item of clothing with an anchor on.
Cue me going: “I’m going to start calling you Anchor Boy!”
Cue him replying: “Wouldn’t Anchorman at least make more sense?!”
He wore anchor cuff links to his wedding and made sure I saw them. He’s nothing if not consistent, ol’ Anchor Boy.
Anyway, Amanda and Ben are a stunning couple. Like, wedding magazine model beautiful. And crazy in love.
Told you. Stunners.
After a beautiful ceremony in an old church – in which my sister WHO WAS DUE THAT DAY did a reading and didn’t go into labour so snaps to her – the happy couple walked back down the aisle as Mr and Mrs Anchor Boy to a bit of classic Mowtown.
I had a spot at the end of a pew, away from the aisle and right against a wall. I seized my moment and sprang into action – jumping up onto the seat to capture them leaving the church, beaming from ear to ear as the music played them out.
No one else was videoing them so, as I captured a good 20-30 seconds of wedding perfection – from my spot stood on my pew seat peering down over the congregation – I congratulated myself on a job well done.
“Amanda is going to LOVE me!” I thought, as I carefully followed their movement down the aisle and out of the church, keeping my iPhone as still as possible.
“This is going to be the video they show their grandchildren! It’s perfect! Who needs an official wedding videographer when you have an excellent friend like me? A friend willing to totter on their heels up on a narrow pew – risking tuts from the elderly and potential knicker-flashing – to get the most perfect video keepsake? I’m SUCH a good friend. This is golden.”
This is the footage:
But please remember I’ve only been operating mobile telephone technology since 2011.